personal growth

Waking From My Field of Dreams

~ The Active Listener, Inc. ~ 6 Comments

By Suzanne Wiggins

I have watched the movie Field of Dreams about a thousand times. I love the way it starts out with a number of seemingly unconnected people and events, all of which are convincingly connected by the end of the movie. And bonus, it involves baseball. They say art imitates life, but on my drive to work this morning I realized that my life has been imitating art in the form of my very own Field of Dreams storyline.

So for those who have seen the movie (and who hasn’t), I’m sure you’ll remember when Ray (Kevin Costner) was having a hissy fit because Shoeless Joe (Ray Liotta) invited Terence Mann (James Earl Jones) into the cornfield. Ray was insistent that he should get to go too because he built the baseball field, it was his corn and he wanted to know what was out there. Shoeless kept repeating, “I think you should stay, Ray,” “Trust me, Ray”, but he was so deep into his tantrum Ray wasn’t able to catch the subtle nuance of Joe’s knowing advice. Suddenly Ray stops and asks “why?” to which Shoeless just smiles and looks back over his shoulder. Ray follows Joe’s line of sight and low and behold there stands a young version of Ray’s deceased father. On a side note, I would have been crying uncontrollably for the past half hour starting when Karin falls off the bleachers, gets a hot dog stuck in her throat, and Doc chooses to cross the foul line which causes him to lose his dream of playing ball yet again. Sniff, sniff.

Well in my version of the story, I’m Ray, the Universe is Shoeless Joe and a person of interest has unknowingly played the part of Terence Mann. It all began a few years back on a Thursday night. I was going about my business and something very unexpected happened, something which significantly changed my life. I spent a lot of time and effort trying to decipher the clues in order to figure out what it all meant and what I should do next. It was an exhausting and uncharted road trip on life’s highway eventually bringing me to the very scene I described above. I’m obstinately arguing with the Universe, certain I know best, trying to follow Terence Mann into the corn. It’s what I want. It’s what I think I deserve. It’s what I feel is fair.

But today, today as I was driving to work I stopped in the midst of my ongoing tantrum and asked the proverbial question ‘why?’  Unlike Ray, I already knew the answer, but I let the Universe say it anyways. The journey was a means to a necessary lesson and the reason I can’t join Terence Mann in the cornfield is because there is something better waiting for me right here where I am. Something I can’t foresee. The very opportunity I have secretly longed for, but never believed could happen.

Damn it. I know the Universe is right. I finally get it. So I’ve decided I am going to stop my whining and start to trust. I am going to trust the timing of my life. I am going to trust that the Universe is on my side and learn to wait without anxiety. I’m going to trust that Pinterest will continue to provide great nuggets of wisdom that will inspire my posts.

If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path toward happiness; don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes, because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart…where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again.  ~ Everwood

Search and Rescue

~ The Active Listener, Inc. ~ 4 Comments

By Suzanne Wiggins

Nearly four years ago I undertook a mission to dramatically change my life. I have changed in so many ways, but the mission is far from complete.

As I was driving home last night I reflected on the last few years; the lessons I’ve learned, the areas I’ve stumbled, the tough decisions I’ve made, the joy I’ve found and I began to re-evaluate the actual objective of my mission.

I’ve discovered that a mission often seems clear and specific at the onset, but in actuality it is extremely ambiguous with only the smallest amount of direction or instruction available. As we make progress, additional information is provided on a “need to know” basis. I find this to be particularly true since an answer, a realization, or a lesson can be presented to me in various ways on several occasions, but until I’m ready or need to know in order to move forward, it will likely remain invisible or incomprehensible to me.

During my reflection on life and purpose, I realized that I often attempt to control that which I have no control over. I do this by strategizing, anticipating, worrying or planning my response to potential situations. In one of those moments of, “I knew this, but just wasn’t ready to fully comprehend it,” I realized I don’t have to behave as I think I should, or in a way I believe would affect a particular outcome, or in any way that is influenced by an external expectation. Suddenly I began to play out a familiar scenario in my mind and as I imagined myself just sitting in the moment without a plan or expectation, I felt very calm and peaceful inside. What a relief it was to think I could just be “authentically me” in every situation without having to worry if it’s how I should be, or how I’m expected to be, or the right way to be, or, or, or.

So what does it mean to be “authentically me?” What if we were to objectively look at who we are as people and accept that our teachers may not have been particularly skilled in the subjects they taught? With this realization could we step back and accept responsibility for finding a way to relearn the skills or characteristics we believe we fall short with – patience, positivity, work ethic, tolerance, love, acceptance, listening, expressing, procrastination, fitness, whatever it may be?

Those questions led me to the realization that my mission is truly about searching for my authentic self. I’m searching for Suzanne and intend to rescue her from the confines of old beliefs, inaccurate information, lack of knowledge, and unrealized potential, and then release her back into the wild. Honestly, 2015 looks to be a very interesting year. I would love to hear about your mission.

We often become what we believe ourselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. When I believe I can, I acquire the ability to do it, even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.           ~ Ghandi