Full Mental Jacket

By Suzanne Wiggins

I’ve been consciously working on enhancing my happiness for a little over four years now. It’s definitely been a life changing journey and I’ve discovered that becoming happier doesn’t always “feel” happy. There are some daunting and downright scary challenges that must be faced in the dark and hidden recesses of the heart and mind.

I’ll be honest, the greatest moments of enlightenment often come at the most unexpected times. Case in point, I had my most powerful revelation to date while standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes this morning. I was mentally flow charting the “why” of an ongoing emotional struggle and suddenly the answer revealed itself to me. I was astounded by the obvious simplicity of the answer. And as hokey as it may sound, I found myself without conscious intention going through the motions of unbuttoning the clasps of an imaginary garment. When the buttons were undone I shrugged from my shoulders what seemed like a heavily weighted jacket. As it fell to the ground I breathed a deep sigh of relief while relaxing and rotating my shoulders. It was a very real physical response to the lightness I felt in my body. Quite involuntarily I said aloud, ‘I no longer need to carry it. It’s not my load to carry.’

I finally understood that  someone, or more likely a series of people, had saddled me with ideas and beliefs that were harmful to my self-esteem. As the load got bigger and heavier over the years, I carried it without much thought, complaint or awareness because it was given to me by people who were credible and influential in my life. But this morning…THIS morning I was able to let go and truly accept that the past is done and behind me and I have all the power and ability I need to create whatever future it is I desire. I’ve read it. I’ve written it. But it feels really amazing when you finally believe it.

So my challenge to you is this…I challenge you to be brave. To bravely acknowledge what it is you carry that is not of your own making. The voices that say, “you’ll never amount to anything, you have no value, you’ll fail, you’re not pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough, young enough, you’ll never find love, you’ll never have success, you’ll never do it, you’re too old, you’re not wanted, if you haven’t done it yet you never will, it’s impossible, you don’t deserve it, you don’t have what it takes, happiness is just an illusion, dreams don’t come true, no one truly gets what they want…”

I promise that the braver you are, and the sooner you acknowledge the invisible load you bear, the sooner your wants and desires will begin to manifest into reality. Nothing is impossible if you’re brave enough to say those magic words, “It’s not my load to carry.”

Search and Rescue

By Suzanne Wiggins

Nearly four years ago I undertook a mission to dramatically change my life. I have changed in so many ways, but the mission is far from complete.

As I was driving home last night I reflected on the last few years; the lessons I’ve learned, the areas I’ve stumbled, the tough decisions I’ve made, the joy I’ve found and I began to re-evaluate the actual objective of my mission.

I’ve discovered that a mission often seems clear and specific at the onset, but in actuality it is extremely ambiguous with only the smallest amount of direction or instruction available. As we make progress, additional information is provided on a “need to know” basis. I find this to be particularly true since an answer, a realization, or a lesson can be presented to me in various ways on several occasions, but until I’m ready or need to know in order to move forward, it will likely remain invisible or incomprehensible to me.

During my reflection on life and purpose, I realized that I often attempt to control that which I have no control over. I do this by strategizing, anticipating, worrying or planning my response to potential situations. In one of those moments of, “I knew this, but just wasn’t ready to fully comprehend it,” I realized I don’t have to behave as I think I should, or in a way I believe would affect a particular outcome, or in any way that is influenced by an external expectation. Suddenly I began to play out a familiar scenario in my mind and as I imagined myself just sitting in the moment without a plan or expectation, I felt very calm and peaceful inside. What a relief it was to think I could just be “authentically me” in every situation without having to worry if it’s how I should be, or how I’m expected to be, or the right way to be, or, or, or.

So what does it mean to be “authentically me?” What if we were to objectively look at who we are as people and accept that our teachers may not have been particularly skilled in the subjects they taught? With this realization could we step back and accept responsibility for finding a way to relearn the skills or characteristics we believe we fall short with – patience, positivity, work ethic, tolerance, love, acceptance, listening, expressing, procrastination, fitness, whatever it may be?

Those questions led me to the realization that my mission is truly about searching for my authentic self. I’m searching for Suzanne and intend to rescue her from the confines of old beliefs, inaccurate information, lack of knowledge, and unrealized potential, and then release her back into the wild. Honestly, 2015 looks to be a very interesting year. I would love to hear about your mission.

We often become what we believe ourselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. When I believe I can, I acquire the ability to do it, even if I didn’t have it in the beginning.           ~ Ghandi