Happiness

This Little Light of Mine

~ The Active Listener, Inc. ~ 2 Comments

By Suzanne Wiggins

I’m afraid. I’m not sure if it is important to know ‘why’ I’m afraid so much as it’s important to acknowledge the fear. I’m sure the root cause is the same for all of us. We fear the unknown. We fear moving outside our comfort level. We fear rejection. We fear attention and would rather remain invisible. We fear the responsibility that comes with achieving our lives’ happiness. We fear what others think. We fear complete and utter happiness because we’re use to being unhappy, and for that matter, we don’t know anyone happy enough to serve as an example. We fear that when and if we achieve our goals, which should result in happiness, it may not be as overwhelming as the  vision we have held in our mind oh so very long. And maybe, just maybe I fear that my secret hope of finding love as a result of finding happiness won’t come to fruition.

I’ve been attempting to discover the key for overcoming my fear and making progress along the trail to happiness. In my heart and head, I want to be brave. To do what’s hard and scary, not live life within the safe confines of my comfort zone. This is much harder, however, than it seems in concept. It’s definitely a matter of trial and error since overcoming fear is individual and unique to each of us. I think the only thing I know for sure is that the more aware we become and the more we attempt bravery, the better we get at making progress even in it’s smallest measure. And by awareness, I mean recognizing those moments when we shrink from the harder of two options.

It’s like the games we played as children. There were those who stuck close to the designated “safety zone” and then there were those few enormously confident souls who would run off to who knows where not seeming to care about the distance back to safety or the increased chance of getting caught or tagged. I would attempt to be one of the brave kids on occasion, but deep down I was a scaredy cat and wanted to be “safe” as quick as possible. But now, many decades later, I am ready to work on truly being a brave soul, because really, was the consequence of not making it back to the safe zone so bad? And how many of us liked being safe only to stand around waiting for the brave kids to reappear? We were rooting for them. We wanted to be like them. So, I’m accepting the challenge of those infamous words, YOU’RE IT! I’m now in charge. I simply need a strategy and to be as wily and brave as those who have sprinted off to places unknown.

Many people have been familiar with Marianne Williamson for some time, but I’ve only just discovered her sage wisdom recently. This quote continually inspires me.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are here for a reason. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory that is within us. It’s not just in some of us. It’s in everyone, and, as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.  ~ Marianne Williamson

And here’s the bonus – we don’t have to shine brighter than anyone else, we only have to shine OUR brightest. I don’t have to be braver than anyone else, I just have to be as brave as I possibly can and know that is good enough. And remember, becoming good at something is a process and to grow we must continue to try. We all crawled before we walked. We have all stumbled and gotten back up whether it was with help from another or on our own. Never did we decide it was just too hard and simply stopped walking. Think back to a time where you mustered all your courage and did something you deemed as brave and/or out of character. Was it not exhilarating? Did it not make your heart beat fast and your self-esteem grow? Why is it that those examples are so much rarer than the times we hesitated only to step back into our comfort zone and rationalized why it was ok to let the opportunity slip by?

So starting today, I’m going to make being brave a lifestyle choice. I may be afraid and I may on occasion forget not to run straight to the safety zone, but I know that with every brave choice I make, I will grow more confident and become happier.  And after all, isn’t that what life is about?

Let Them Eat Cake

~ The Active Listener, Inc. ~ 6 Comments

By Suzanne Wiggins

My birthday is a few weeks away and normally I would be trying to decide what type of cakes I’d be baking to share with my Mug Club friends. It all began a few years ago while having an after work beer with my friend and fellow Mug Club member, Dan. During our conversation he mentioned that as a kid, his mom always made a butter brickle cake for his birthday. If you’re unfamiliar with butter brickle, it’s actually English toffee chopped into small pieces. His mother had passed away several years earlier, but it was obvious that the thought of this special treat every year on his birthday brought back fond memories of both his mom and childhood. Right then and there I promised Dan that for his next birthday I was going to make a butter brickle cake just like his mom use to do.

And that is how I became the unofficial “Official Birthday Cake Baker for Mug Club Members” at the Rochester Mills. In actuality, I don’t bake for the entire Mug Club which has over 500 members, but just the small inner circle of regulars of which I belong. There have been carrot cakes (with and without raisins), cheesecakes, German chocolate, Italian cream, red velvet, chocolate stout, lemon, chocolate chip angel food, and antique caramel just to name a few. Each one is made from scratch with lots of care and attention. That’s not to say they’re without fault. Although they’ve all been described as delicious, not every one has fared so well on the journey from oven to plate.

The circle of Mug Club members I bake for continues to grow usually by way of, “how do I get on the list?” There are those, however, who will never have to ask because it makes me happy to create special cakes just for them.  My question is always the same; what kind of cake did your mom make for your birthday as a kid? With most, the response is immediate. For some, there is no memory or sentimental attachment to childhood birthdays so the question simply becomes, what’s your favorite?  And for the sad few that have no preference, I bake whatever interests me at the time.

If my dad were alive, he would love this idea and probably be disappointed that he lived too far away to participate. He loved cooking, baking, and generally doing kind things for his friends. As kids, my dad would always ask us what we wanted for dinner on our birthday. This tradition continued into my first few years of college. My request was always the same without deviation and every birthday meal was as delicious as the year before.

With three weeks left until my birthday there is no need for cake planning or baking. My amazing friends have decided they want to bake for ME this year. I’ve gratefully accepted because their thoughtfulness truly makes my heart swell. Following protocol they have asked what kind of birthday cake my mom made me as a kid? The question was easy to answer, but the truth is harder to tell. I would gladly forego cake any day in exchange for the special fried liver and onion and lima bean birthday dinners my dad use to make.